When you are sharing custody of your kids with the mother, birthdays and holidays can be difficult. Realistically, you cannot expect to have your children with you on every special occasion. Following a divorce, this can be difficult to grasp. Here are some tips for planning special occasions while taking into account the other parent.
- Be kind. If you and your ex had a less than amicable end to your relationship, one of the most difficult things you can do is be polite to your ex. However, it is important to your children that you be kind. In difficult moments with your ex, smile and hold your anger.
- Be understanding. You and your ex will need to be flexible when it comes to making arrangements for special holidays. You need to understand that plans can change. Work with your ex to make sure your kids enjoy holidays and birthdays.
- Have your own celebration. If your children cannot be with you on the day of their birthdays or holidays, throw your own celebration. Even though it is not the same day, your children will appreciate having time to celebrate with both parents.
- Make backup plans. In the event that your children are with their mother on special days, have plans in place to spend time with others. If you have friends and family around, the absence of your children will not weigh as heavily on you.
- Create your own traditions. Now that life is different for you and your family, it is time for new traditions. Set up special things for you and your children that let them know that they are still an integral part of your life.
- Avoid going overboard. Do not let guilt dictate what you do for your children. Even though you might have the urge to overdo it because your time with your children is limited, avoid doing so. Spoiling your kids does not do them any favors.
- Keep your promises. If you make plans with your children, follow through with them. Holidays and birthdays are huge for children, and failing to follow through with your plans could impact your relationship with them.
Parenting from a different residence can be a challenge, and it might seem like an even bigger one during the holiday season and birthdays. Remember to keep your children's needs first and work with your ex to ensure that, between the two of you, your children have the experiences they need and want.
If you need the services of a divorce lawyer, contact Dianna Harris, attorney.